


Dawn won't wait for us

by colorfulcharades



Series: Edgeless Melody [10]
Category: Thunderbolt Fantasy 東離劍遊紀 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Feels man, First chapter is SFW, Lang also, M/M, Shang is tired and depressed, a time after another failed attempt to save a life, alternatively titled "the first time Shang bottoms", basically them finding comfort in each other, mutual suffering, smut as therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22852711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulcharades/pseuds/colorfulcharades
Summary: The fire ignites, cackling. Behind him, Shang has not moved an inch.
Relationships: Rou Fu You | Làng Wū Yáo/Sho Fu Kan | Shāng Bù Huàn
Series: Edgeless Melody [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209291
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Dawn won't wait for us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Isabelu_u](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabelu_u/gifts).



Tired. He felt so fucking tired. 

There was a thick fog veiling over his mind, yet not one clear thought came up to him since they escaped. Lang knew, in the far back chamber of his scattered thoughts, in the touch of his freezing hand lighting up a candle whose light they didn't need, that he will not be sleeping tonight. There was a fresh sight of blood ghosting over his vision, a weeping voice of another innocent life they were not able to save.

_It's seconds. It is always seconds that determine who will live and who will die._

_In the end, among corpses and destruction, Shang's scroll was heavier for one sword, but was this not a price too high to pay?_

With a shake of his head, he forced himself back to the present. 

Things that already happened couldn't turn back, Lang repeated, voiceless, to himself, turning to prepare the fire. They just need some more time, some more rational thoughts and quiet hours to push another failed attempt back into the cage inside their thoughts, lock it once again and throw away the key. Keep moving, ever forward, as if the blood on their hands never bothered them in the slightest. 

It's just as it's always been. 

Just another mourning hour. Just another second too late. Just another innocent life lost because they didn't react when they should have. 

It was not their first, and likely not even close to the last. 

The fire ignites, cackling. Behind him, Shang has not moved an inch.

He hasn't spoken a single word, from the very second the battle ended to the moment they found the hideout. His expression never changed. His hand remained, stiff and frozen, on the handle of his wooden sword as if he was still prepared to strike. As if he was still battling. 

And he was. Lang was certain of it, though no enemy was visible, both of them were fighting. 

_It's the most dangerous when you can't see them. It hurts the most when they come from your head._

On the thought twisting behind his lips, Lang aches, he aches terribly. If he could, just for a second, take Shang away from it, stop the memory of a recent event from replaying in his head over and over like a broken record. 

If he could reach out, touch him, embrace him and let his soul rest for a while. At least for one miserable night. At least now.

If only he could save him, the way Shang saved them both so many times, with a posture unyielding and unshaken will, a kind of reassurance Lang never knew he needed until their paths collided. 

_If I could only save him from this sorrow. I would do anything for that chance._

With that thought in mind, he steps closer, steps light as feathers, as if to not disturb a sleeping beast of despair that decided to nest in Shang's mind.

"Shang..."

He reaches out to touch his shoulder.

**_He thinks he may be imagining, but there is an agony eating his Shang alive, and he can almost see it, he can almost feel it with his hand-_ **

**_It means nothing. He could not fight in in Shang's place._ **

And only then does it seem that his voice has reached Shang's ear, skin breaking into a frail, almost sickly shiver at the sound breaking through the darkness. 

Lang's hand halts in the air.

It's _despair_. It's despair, and it's a mortifying numbness, and a million other things he wasn't able to recognize. 

A freezing wave coils in his chest, making his heart unsettled as a thunder, his limbs numb as the color slowly drained from his face.

He realizes then, that he was afraid. 

_But why? What is the reason, what was he so afraid of? Was it Shang?_

_Was it the thought of Shang suffering that left him in anguish?_

_Or was it not fear, but the feeling of failure because he couldn't protect the only person he ever truly loved from being in pain?_

He hears it, suddenly. A sigh, a strained inhale of tired lungs that he could recognize with eyes shut tightly anytime. It pulls the chords of Lang's heart every time. 

Though he sits with his back turned to him, he almost sees how Shang tries to speak, but there is a lump in his throat that allows nothing but a strained whisper to come out.

"Lang... I..."

_**I just want to forget.** _

"I know". 

As if he heard his very thoughts, and the warmth of another human is so close to Shang's back now. 

He craves it so badly. 

It is sudden, the moment when words stop and sensation begins, but Shang welcomes it with longing. 

_There is no more voices. Only silence._

_Only silence, and a warm embrace of a weeping musician pulling him close._

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to my favorite flamboyant musician boy, Lang Wu Yao! ❤️💮
> 
> I know, I know, not really a happiest birthday fic indeed, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I decided to split it and make it a first multi-chapter fic I ever wrote!
> 
> First chapter is sfw, but the second one will definitely not be 😔 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!


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